healing.

"The things we think, feel and do that make us feel less than Christian are precisely the things that connect us to each other. We have more in common than we realize."


my last post was the result of a lot of things i've been feeling and learning this semester. i've always worthy: worthy of the blessings that i have been given, worthy to be in the situations i found myself in, worthy of praise. i felt that i was worthy because i felt i was good: i didn't do "bad" things, i had always been known as being a good kid, i maintained my christian image perfectly.


but lately, i've just been pretty sick of it all. i'm sick of acting like i have it all together. i don't want that for myself and i don't want that for others. we have been given community, not to pretend like we all are perfect, but rather to come together as broken people to grow into something beautiful.


i stumbled upon this article today that really put into words how i'd been feeling. i hope you'll take the time to check it out. i also hope you'll take time to check out the confessions of a 20 something. maybe you'll come across a confession that speaks to your situation. i put my previous post up on the site. i hope maybe you'll put something up, too. 


article: confessions of our generation.


blog: confession of a 20 something.

confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. [james five:sixteen]

come on, let's wash each other.

of course i have it all together.
and i'll make sure to upkeep that image every second.
i deserve to be here.
i am good.
I am good.
I am good.
especially when i keep my mind and heart numb.
nothing can touch me now.
pure bliss.
i am worthy.
I am worthy.
I am worthy.

but sometimes, i get tired.
tired of fighting.
tired of perfection.
because, ultimately, i know i'm lying.
and i think they know i'm lying.
because i know they're all lying, too.
but we all continue living in our deception.
broken, exhausted liars.

what if we all just stopped?
what if we were just honest.
with ourselves and with others.

what would you write up on your wall?
I AM THE ADULTEROUS WOMAN.

i don't know about you,
but i think i might be done pretending.
i'm too tired.
and i've seen a glimpse of what happens
when you let your wall down,
and it's a beautiful thing.

so come, let's wash each other.
with tears of joy and tear of grief.
and fold our lives like crashing waves
and run up on this beach.
come and and sew us together.
we're just some tattered rags stained forever.
we only have what we remember.

"sin is not just the breaking of God's laws, but the breaking of Jesus' heart."

watch and truly listen:

[more to come soon]

mary magdalene by foxes have foxholes.

i've been learning a lot lately about the character of Jesus. and the more i learn, the more beautiful i find both Him and this song. it's actually brought me to tears multiple times. i think it's just such a sweet picture of Jesus' relationships. i hope you are blessed by it. 

Jesus and Mary, walking hand in hand
down the shores of the Galilee, fishermen
telling the story about a future in the present-day kingdom come

Mary said, “Jesus, will i be okay?
I’ve got a feeling when you leave that things are gonna change
and everybody that I know don’t seem to treat me near as good as You”

He skipped a stone into the sea
began to laugh and shake his head
turn around in time to see that
the eyes of His beloved were just filling up with child’s tears

He said, “Baby, don’t you worry
about a thing that comes to pass
you’ve got a seed of Heaven planted deep within your soul
and if you need something, all you have to do is ask
and I’ll know, I’ll know”

later that week up in Jerusalem,
they caught a dinner and a show after the setting sun
then climbed the hillside just in time to see the moon rise full and red
Jesus said, “Mary, will I be okay?
I got a feeling something’s happening, just today
I overheard a group of fellas talkin' how they’re gonna do Me in”

she picked a fig off of the tree 

their lives together flashed before her eyes, 

she turned around in time to see that
the eyes of her Beloved were just filling up with child’s tears

she said, “Baby, don’t you worry
about a thing that comes to pass
You are the seed of Heaven planted deep inside this world
and if You need something, all You have to do is ask
And I’ll go, I’ll go”

later that week, after the burial
all of the brothers and the sisters went back to their homes
but little Mary, with the vigils, crying at the grave of her best friend

“why do you weep, as if I’m dead?”
the voice behind her cut right through the air
she turned around and saw the friend
running back into His arms

they just laughed, she kissed His scars smiling

He said, “Baby, don’t you worry
about a thing that comes to pass
you’ve got a seed of Heaven planted deep within your soul
and if you need something, all you have to do is ask
and I’ll know, I’ll know"

Jesus and Mary, walking hand in hand
down the shores of the Galilee, fishermen

telling the story about a future in the present-day kingdom come

justice beaver.

one of my favorite office quotes that my best friend posted this on my wall this week. enjoy!

you know you're a tts when...

so, i pass this bulletin board every day in the 1S lounge of my dorm about how to know if you're a "typical truman student" and i love it more and more each day. so i thought i'd share it with you all to give an embarrassingly accurate view of my school and what they people are like here...

1. you take notes on syllabus day.
2. you've never tailgated a day in your life.
3. a group of zombies running through the quad is no reason to panic.
4. the weather is only nice when your parents drop you off and pick you up.
5. you look forward to finals for the free doughnut break.
6. sunday night dinner is mexican or chinese.
7. you really do go to walmart for fun.
8. you have something to say about pancake city.
9. your favorite holiday is reading day eve.
10. your directions to school are "go to mizzou and head north."
11. you are more likely to last until close at the library.

pretty lame, but i love it here :)

genuine worship.

okay, so i keep saying that i'm not back, but yet i keep posting. so i guess i'm back. but i hope to have an important summer-ish post soon. 

anyway, i had to post this picture. it's pretty much my favorite thing right now.

also, this quote from jim elliot:

"wherever you are, be all there."

a small life update.

no, i'm still not officially back. but i thought i'd share my social problems homework assignment with you all as a sort of "life" update. i'll be back soon! :)


        Over the summer, I became an unfortunately huge fan of Justin Bieber. But when I returned to Truman this year, I quickly found out that my roommates were extremely against listening to Justin Bieber and his music was not acceptable to listen to in our room. I therefore hid my obsession for this 17-year-old Canadian's music. But last night I was getting into the shower, and I usually always listen to Justin Bieber in the shower, so I decided to confront my two roommates. I bursted out of the bathroom and told them that I had an announcement to make. I told them that I had "Bieber fever" and I didn't care that they didn't support me and that I would be listening to Justin Bieber's music in the shower that night. My information was unfortunately not taken well. Jessi groaned and said, "This is the worst!," a favorite phrase of hers, and although Shelby and I usually make fun of her when she says it, Shelby's response was, "I'm not even going to disagree with you about that one."

But, I did it anyway, without my roommates approval...I listened to Justin Bieber in the shower for the whole room to hear. My decision made me feel bold and brave. I felt free now that my obsession was out in the open.

When I came back from my shower, my feelings of bravery and freedom quickly diminished. Jessi had headphones in, refusing to even listen to Justin Bieber; and although Shelby didn't have headphones in, she was on the opposite side of the room attempting to not pay attention to me while reading her book.

My roommates may never watch Justin Bieber's movie "Never Say Never" with me. They may very well never let me listen to Justin Bieber in the shower again. But the confession is finally out....I am a true "Belieber."

nothing but smiles.

so, i'm not actually officially back yet. BUT, i saw this tonight and couldn't help but pass it along!

love you all :)

sooo, about not posting in two months....

as much as i wish i could say that blogging is one of my top priorities, it is not. blogging for me is something i do in my free time when i feel the Lord has put something on my heart to share or i need a way to express myself. but this summer has left practically no free time for me to be on my laptop, much less blogging. but don't worry! i leave for school in about two and a half weeks (which i'm getting SO excited about!), and i'm planning on resuming blogging then.

sorry to all who have stopped by lately to see what's new....because it's been nothing.

and to all of those who have given up on me and stopped looking at all, come back soon please!

move in day is august twenty-third, so expect something hopefully fabulous shortly after that!

LOVE YOU ALL! :)

the covering house.

okay, guys...

so there's this organization in st. louis called the covering house. and they're working to build a shelter for girls that have been victims of sex trafficking.

and there's this project called the vivint gives back project that is giving away $1.25 million to a charity of choice.

i just found out about this, and there's only four days left!

so please vote for the covering house! thanks!



more info:
vivint gives back project
the covering house website

bieber fever.

so, i finally saw the justin bieber movie. and i have to admit, i'm feeling a little bit too much like this at times:

okay, that's a little much. i'm not in love with him, i'd just really like to go on tour with him and be his best friend.
is that too much to ask??

my future home.

this will be my house:

this will be my foyer:

this will be my closet:

this will be my bathroom:

this will be my staircase:

this will be my babies' nursery:

this will be my teacup display:

this will be my backyard: 

this will be my library:

and this will be my overflow library:

dear future husband, 

please make the big bucks. 

thanks,

your future social worker wife with good taste

prima ballerina.

dancing in the minefields. andrew peterson.

well i was 19, you were 21
the year we got engaged.
and everyone said we were much too young,
but we did it anyway.
we got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road.
we said our vows and took the leap, now 15 years ago.

and we went dancing in the minefields.
we went sailing in the storms.
and it was harder than we dreamed,
but i believe that's what the promise is for.

well "i do" are the two most famous last words:
the beginning of the end.
but to lose your life for another, i've heard 
is a good place to begin.
'cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
and i believe it's an easy price for the life that we have found.

and we're dancing in the minefields.
we're sailing in the storms.
and this is harder than we dreamed,
but i believe that's what the promise is for.
that's what the promise is for.

so when i lose my way, find me.
when i lose love's chains, bind me.
at the end of all my faith, to the end of all my days
when i forget my name, remind me.

'cause we bear the light of the Son of Man,
so there's nothing left to fear.
so i'll walk with you in the shadow lands,
till the shadows disappear.
'cause He promised not to leave us
and His promises are true.
so in the face of this chaos, baby,
i can dance with you.

so let's go dancing in the minefields.
let's go sailing in the storms.
oh, let's go dancing in the minefields
and kicking down the doors.

oh, lets go dancing in the minefields
and sailing in the storms.
oh, this is harder than we dreamed,
but i believe that's what the promise is for.
that's what the promise is for.


i found this song through my best friend. thanks for having such good taste, soulmate ;)

------------------------------

ALSO, i have a fancy schmancy new button that i made this week that you can find in the sidebar. if you'd like to grab it and put it up on your blog by chance, i'd love you forever :)

6,484 miles.

distance sucks. don't let anyone tell you differently. dating long distance isn't fun. wether it's as far as israel, or only chicago. it's going to be hard. it's going to cause disappointment, longing, frustration, and probably some tears every now and again. 

but, there's some joy that can be found in this...

like this

and this

and certainly this

and moments like this

so yeah, it sucks. a lot. but when you find someone who can always make you smile and is a constant reminder of all the Father's goodness, it's worth it. every lonely night, every tear, every longing. it's worth it for all the laughter, smiles, memories, and joy.

[41 days]

true love.

come close, listen to the story
about a love more faithful than the morning:
the Father gave His only Son just to save us....

the earth was shaking in the dark.
all creation felt the Father's broken heart.
tears were filling Heaven's eyes,
the day that True Love died, 
the day that True Love died.
when blood and water hit the ground,
walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
we were freed and made alive
the day that True Love died, 
the day that True Love died.

search your heart, you know you can't deny it.
come on, lose your life just so you can find it.
the Father gave His only Son just to save us...


the earth was shaking in the dark.

all creation felt the Father's broken heart.
tears were filling Heaven's eyes,
the day that True Love died, 

the day that True Love died.
when blood and water hit the ground,
walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
we were freed and made alive
the day that True Love died, 

the day that True Love died.

now, Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
oh, He is alive
He rose again!

when blood and water hit the ground,
walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
we were freed and made alive
the day that True Love died, 
the day that True Love died.

come close listen to the story... 

hello!

sorry it's been a while since i last posted....i've been pretty darn busy! here's what's been going on:
- i finished my freshman year in college (yay!)
- i'm back home for the summer with my lovely family and friends
- my friends ashley & kaleb got married. SO happy for them!
- i had a wonderful week with the boyfriend before he left for his trip to study in the holy lands this summer (only forty-seven days left!)
- i started my internship (which is going to be a lot of work, but a great experience)
- i've sent 29 applications into different locations for a summer job and still nothing

[family]

[friends]

i have been blessed so far this summer and can't wait to see what the Lord still has is store :)

"as an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. you have heart of the steadfastness of job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful."
[james five:ten-eleven]

OBSESSED with this girl :)

this is my friend/future roomie jessi. she's really great. here are our pictures while "studying" in the library during finals week. we pretty much broke every rule in the library today. it was great :)

:)

awkwarddddd.

lion!

moose.

in love <3

Jesus picture :)

?

yeah, i'm standing on furniture. 

flying!

:)

finals week motivation.

the civil wars.

my best friend posted this on her blog and i'm now obsessed with it :)

i've been awaiting for you
and you've been awaiting for me.
tell me that you'll always be true
and you'll be the only one for me.
forget me not, my dear, my darling.
forget me not, my love.
i just wanna hold your hand.
hang on every word you say.
let's write a song for us
and sing until we're old and grey.
forget me not, my dear, my darling.
forget me not, my love.
i'm coming home real soon.
please leave a light on for me.
tell me that you'll always be true
and you'll be the only one for me
yes, you'll be the only one for me. 

new things.

if you go here, you can find a wonderful giveaway for an anthropologie gift card. check it out.

ALSO

i just officially started using bloglovin' [Follow my blog with bloglovin] and google friend connect for my blog. links for both can be found in my sidebar! :)

FINALLY

i got a twitter! you can follow me here!

"while the camera does not express the soul, perhaps a photograph can." ansel adams

hans rosling's work.

yes, another video. but this one is educational AND exciting! it shows the relationship between income and health in 200 countries over the past 200 years in 4 minutes. i saw it at a sociology/anthropology presentation and really learned a lot. hope you do, too :)

precious.

yes please.

pretty much all from [polyvore.com]

bob marley quote.

he's not perfect. you aren't either. and the two of you will never be perfect. but if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most that you can. he isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. don't analyze. smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. love hard when there is love to be had. because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.

first corinthians thirteen:four-eight.

love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 
love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 
love never ends.

sitting.

living in wait is harder than expected. it makes it feel as though you're trying to live out a dream that you've already woken up from. and when that feeling hits, it scares you to death. what could it mean? maybe you're being irrational, maybe you're being emotional, maybe you're over-thinking. maybe. that's the scary part. not knowing. but wanting desperately to know. because once you know, then the fear goes away. maybe. only maybe because what if knowledge isn't enough? hearing the words and knowing they're true isn't enough. what if what it comes to do raw feelings. but you can't tell feelings are there, just the knowledge of feelings. and that's not enough. and past feelings aren't enough either, because who knows if those are real anymore. and reminders of those feelings almost leave you bitter. because they're a reminder of what you want now. and maybe they're true now, but you can't know. you can only hope they are. the only thing that can keep you going is the prospect of future feelings. touching, smelling, tasting. but when that's all that seems like enough, you're left waiting. but once what you're waiting for becomes the past, what if it all comes back again? and you're left holding onto waiting once more. the idea of being delighted in the present is great, but what if the knowledge of the future is greater? no matter how great it is now, it doesn't seem like it can ever be as great as if might be later. and if the knowledge of future feelings is worth it, shouldn't it make the present easier?
but it doesn't. in a lot of ways, it makes it harder. because you can't have what you want now. you have to wait. and you know that all the hardship it's causing is your fault. you're choosing it. and to some, that might seem like the dumbest thing in the world. but to you, it's as natural as breathing. you wouldn't have it another way. but it's still hard. the very thing that makes it easy is the thing that makes it hard. and even when the foundation is in place, when the details on top seem to be shaky, it doesn't feel solid. but you know it's solid. it's solid because the thing you're waiting for is greater than what you're going through. so you continue to wait. because even if you're not sure of feelings, there's more to it than that.

truth.

new favorites to share.