come on, let's wash each other.

of course i have it all together.
and i'll make sure to upkeep that image every second.
i deserve to be here.
i am good.
I am good.
I am good.
especially when i keep my mind and heart numb.
nothing can touch me now.
pure bliss.
i am worthy.
I am worthy.
I am worthy.

but sometimes, i get tired.
tired of fighting.
tired of perfection.
because, ultimately, i know i'm lying.
and i think they know i'm lying.
because i know they're all lying, too.
but we all continue living in our deception.
broken, exhausted liars.

what if we all just stopped?
what if we were just honest.
with ourselves and with others.

what would you write up on your wall?
I AM THE ADULTEROUS WOMAN.

i don't know about you,
but i think i might be done pretending.
i'm too tired.
and i've seen a glimpse of what happens
when you let your wall down,
and it's a beautiful thing.

so come, let's wash each other.
with tears of joy and tear of grief.
and fold our lives like crashing waves
and run up on this beach.
come and and sew us together.
we're just some tattered rags stained forever.
we only have what we remember.

"sin is not just the breaking of God's laws, but the breaking of Jesus' heart."

watch and truly listen:

[more to come soon]

justice beaver.

one of my favorite office quotes that my best friend posted this on my wall this week. enjoy!

nothing but smiles.

so, i'm not actually officially back yet. BUT, i saw this tonight and couldn't help but pass it along!

love you all :)

bieber fever.

so, i finally saw the justin bieber movie. and i have to admit, i'm feeling a little bit too much like this at times:

okay, that's a little much. i'm not in love with him, i'd just really like to go on tour with him and be his best friend.
is that too much to ask??

prima ballerina.

dancing in the minefields. andrew peterson.

well i was 19, you were 21
the year we got engaged.
and everyone said we were much too young,
but we did it anyway.
we got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road.
we said our vows and took the leap, now 15 years ago.

and we went dancing in the minefields.
we went sailing in the storms.
and it was harder than we dreamed,
but i believe that's what the promise is for.

well "i do" are the two most famous last words:
the beginning of the end.
but to lose your life for another, i've heard 
is a good place to begin.
'cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
and i believe it's an easy price for the life that we have found.

and we're dancing in the minefields.
we're sailing in the storms.
and this is harder than we dreamed,
but i believe that's what the promise is for.
that's what the promise is for.

so when i lose my way, find me.
when i lose love's chains, bind me.
at the end of all my faith, to the end of all my days
when i forget my name, remind me.

'cause we bear the light of the Son of Man,
so there's nothing left to fear.
so i'll walk with you in the shadow lands,
till the shadows disappear.
'cause He promised not to leave us
and His promises are true.
so in the face of this chaos, baby,
i can dance with you.

so let's go dancing in the minefields.
let's go sailing in the storms.
oh, let's go dancing in the minefields
and kicking down the doors.

oh, lets go dancing in the minefields
and sailing in the storms.
oh, this is harder than we dreamed,
but i believe that's what the promise is for.
that's what the promise is for.


i found this song through my best friend. thanks for having such good taste, soulmate ;)

------------------------------

ALSO, i have a fancy schmancy new button that i made this week that you can find in the sidebar. if you'd like to grab it and put it up on your blog by chance, i'd love you forever :)

true love.

come close, listen to the story
about a love more faithful than the morning:
the Father gave His only Son just to save us....

the earth was shaking in the dark.
all creation felt the Father's broken heart.
tears were filling Heaven's eyes,
the day that True Love died, 
the day that True Love died.
when blood and water hit the ground,
walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
we were freed and made alive
the day that True Love died, 
the day that True Love died.

search your heart, you know you can't deny it.
come on, lose your life just so you can find it.
the Father gave His only Son just to save us...


the earth was shaking in the dark.

all creation felt the Father's broken heart.
tears were filling Heaven's eyes,
the day that True Love died, 

the day that True Love died.
when blood and water hit the ground,
walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
we were freed and made alive
the day that True Love died, 

the day that True Love died.

now, Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
Jesus is alive
oh, He is alive
He rose again!

when blood and water hit the ground,
walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
we were freed and made alive
the day that True Love died, 
the day that True Love died.

come close listen to the story... 

finals week motivation.

the civil wars.

my best friend posted this on her blog and i'm now obsessed with it :)

i've been awaiting for you
and you've been awaiting for me.
tell me that you'll always be true
and you'll be the only one for me.
forget me not, my dear, my darling.
forget me not, my love.
i just wanna hold your hand.
hang on every word you say.
let's write a song for us
and sing until we're old and grey.
forget me not, my dear, my darling.
forget me not, my love.
i'm coming home real soon.
please leave a light on for me.
tell me that you'll always be true
and you'll be the only one for me
yes, you'll be the only one for me. 

hans rosling's work.

yes, another video. but this one is educational AND exciting! it shows the relationship between income and health in 200 countries over the past 200 years in 4 minutes. i saw it at a sociology/anthropology presentation and really learned a lot. hope you do, too :)

precious.

truth.

"a library is full of new worlds to travel."

[source]

[source]

[source]

[source]

a lot of these were found here. don't be alarmed by the name. it's super great. promise.

and thank you to jessi for being so great and showing me most of this :)

jokester.

the day before he left for college, this really great boy played me this song that he had written for me. so, pretty much every girl's dream. i am so lucky :)

that's it!

the tenth avenue north - light meets the dark series is over. i hope you all learned as much from these beautiful songs as i have. now go out and buy the cd! you won't regret it :)

oh, my dear.

i called you up, you were in bed.
could barely make out the words that you said.
but you wanted to see me instead, so i got dressed.
then i stepped out into the snow
and walked for a mile or so,
felt the rush of blood come from the cold in my chest.

well you finally came to the door
and we talked for an hour or more
until i asked if you would stay up till four
you said, "that's fine."
but you said, "there's something i have to say,
and i can't because i'm just so afraid."
and so i held you as you started to shake that night.

oh, my dear,
i'll wait for you.
grace tonight 
will pull us through.

until the tears have left your eyes,
until the fears can sleep at night,
until the demons that you're scared of disappear inside,
until this guilt begins to crack 
and the weight falls from your back,
oh, my dear, i'll keep you in my arms tonight.

you slowly lifted your head from your hands.
you said, "i just don't think that you'll understand,
you'll never look at me that way again 
if you knew what i did."
and so your tears fell and melted the snow
you told me secrets nobody had known
but i never loved you more 
even though now i knew what you did.


oh, my dear,

i'll wait for you.
and grace tonight 

will pull us through.

yeah, oh, my dear,

i'll wait for you.
and grace tonight 

will pull us through.

until the tears have left your eyes,
until the fears can sleep at night,
until the demons that you're scared of disappear inside,
until this guilt begins to crack 

and the weight falls from your back,
oh, my dear, i'll keep you in my arms...

'till the tears have left your eyes,
until the fears can sleep at night,
until the demons that you're scared of disappear inside,
until this guilt begins to crack 

and the weight falls from your back,
oh, my dear, 

i'll keep you in my arms tonight.

any other way.

don't say goodbye, 
don't say hello.
we're just standing on the surface.
don't say alright, 
don't say i know.
I promise it's not worth it.

I want to know who you are,
even if you're falling apart.
reach in and touch your scars
and all the shame you've kept in your heart.

‘cause it's not enough,
it's not enough 
just to say that we're okay.
I need your hurt, 
I need your pain.
it's not love any other way.

let's not pretend.
stop your parade.
trying to convince me
that you're alright 
and everything's okay.
do you even know Me?

‘cause I already know who you are
and all the things that kept us apart.
so reach in and touch my scars
and know the price I paid for your heart.


that it's not enough,

it's not enough 

just to say that you're okay.
well I need your hurt, 

I need your pain.
it's not love any other way.

a broken and contrite heart 
I will not despise.
come as you are 
and I won't close my eyes.
I won't close my eyes.
I won't close my eye.
I won't close my eyes.


'cause it's not enough,

it's not enough 

just to say that you're okay.
well I need your hurt, 

I need your pain.
it's not love any other way.

'cause it's not enough,
it's not enough 
just to say that you're okay.
well, you needed My hurt
you needed My pain
it's not love any other way.
it's not love any other way.
yeah, it's not love any other way.

"even in relationships with each other, if you don’t understand the hurt and pain that someone is going through, it’s really not a love relationship. this is a call of God saying to us "I need your pain and I need your hurt" and allowing us to express that to God and not just to mask it. we’re allowed to question and we’re allowed to get mad and say, "i’m really hurt right now and this is what i’m going through." when someone can then love in return, then that’s when it’s true love."
[jason from tenth avenue north]

the truth is who you are.

it would be easier 
if You were just a thought in my head.
simply something that i once read.
a belief needing my defense.

and it would be easier 
if you were something i once knew.
a hope just to hold on to.
but You're holding out Your hands.

'cause You came to take us back to the start.
You came to touch the hardness of our hearts.
You gave us truth 
that truth is who You are,
it's who You are.

and it’s not enough 
to just say, "i believe."
‘cause truth is that talk is cheap.
so grace, give me eyes to see


that You came to take us back to the start.
You came to touch the hardness of our hearts.
You gave us truth 
that truth is who You are,
it's who You are.
it's who You are.

flesh and blood You offer us.
oh, to eat the bread and drink the cup.
oh, to taste, to see, to feel, to touch.
Emmanuel, God with us
Emmanuel, God with us.

‘cause You came to break the chains apart.
to wake the dead and sleeping of our hearts.
You gave us truth, 
that truth is who You are.
it's who You are.

"it’s just the idea that Jesus is really what sustains us. Jesus is the truth we’re searching for. so unless we run to Him first, all our knowledge and all the stuff we learn about Him is just sort of puffing ourselves up. i think it’s such a freeing thing when people can realize that Jesus isn’t something that you read about in a book, but He’s actually a person and He wants to have a relationship with you and walk with you through these dark times."
[jason from tenth avenue north]

you are more.

there's a girl in the corner 
with tear stains on her eyes
from the places she's wandered 
and the shame she can't hide.
she says, 
"how did i get here? 
i'm not who i once was.
and i'm crippled by the fear 
that i've fallen too far to love."

but don't you know who you are,
what has been done for you?
don't you know who you are?

you are more than the choices that you've made.
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes.
you are more than the problems you create.
you've been remade.

well she tries to believe it, 
that she's been given new life.
but she can't shake the feeling 
that it’s not true tonight.
she knows all the answers 
and she's rehearsed all the lines,
so she'll try to do better 
but then she's too weak to try


but don't you know who you are?

you are more than the choices that you've made.
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes.
you are more than the problems you create.
you've been remade.


you are more than the choices that you've made.
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes.
you are more than the problems you create.
you've been remade.

‘cause this is not about what you've done,
but what's been done for you.
this is not about where you've been,
but where your brokenness brings you to.
this is not about what you feel 
but what He felt to forgive you
and what He felt to make you new


you are more than the choices that you've made.
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes.
you are more than the problems you create.
you've been remade.


you are more than the choices that you've made.
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes.
you are more than the problems you create.
you've been remade.


you've been remade.
you've been remade.
you've been remade.
you've been remade.

"you can't live for God until you learn how to live because of God. and you can't go and make good choices for God until you understand the Gospel that says the choices you make don't make you who you are. what Christ has done for you makes you who you are."
[mike from tenth avenue north]