genuine worship.

okay, so i keep saying that i'm not back, but yet i keep posting. so i guess i'm back. but i hope to have an important summer-ish post soon. 

anyway, i had to post this picture. it's pretty much my favorite thing right now.

also, this quote from jim elliot:

"wherever you are, be all there."

bob marley quote.

he's not perfect. you aren't either. and the two of you will never be perfect. but if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most that you can. he isn't going to quote poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. don't hurt him, don't change him, and don't expect more than he can give. don't analyze. smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he's not there. love hard when there is love to be had. because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you.

emily dickinson.

hope is the thing with feathers 
that perches in the soul, 
and sings the tune--without the words, 
and never stops at all.

it's a new day. oh baby, it's a new day.

this is the beginning of a new day.

you have been given this day to do as you will.

you can waste it or use it for good. 

what you do today is important 

because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.

when tomorrow comes,

this day will be gone forever;

it it's place is something that you have left behind...

...let it be something good.

"you have bewitched me, body and soul. and i love...i love...i love you. i never wish to be parted from you from this day on." - mister darcy

dawn.

[this scene = love]

liz on top of the world.

[one time, i kept the main menu up for thirty minutes just so i could listen to this song].

end credits.

[one time, i kept the end credits going for an hour, just so i could listen to this song].

also, if a certain boyfriend of mine would like to make his girlfriend very happy, learning some of this one the piano would work very well to accomplish that goal ;)

He is greater than our hearts.

"the task may seem large, but what if your passion is as big as the task? and even more importantly, what if our God is even bigger?"
[source unknown]

more kay.

i can see us years from now, bent with age, putting our heads together and laughing our same laugh over some ridiculous thing or other. no matter what, we'll always have our same old laugh to laugh together.

♥

live every day from the crack of dawn until you can't keep your eyes open a second longer.

"now that i please myself, my priorities are better. the people i love. my health. getting the most i can out of every day. the actor danny kaye used to say, 'life is a great big canvas. throw all the paint you can at it.' i like that thought. more important, i try to live by it as much as i can
i get up really early most mornings so i can watch the sun rise. i put flower buds in a lot of little bottles around the house so i can see the blossoms open everywhere. i feed whole peanuts to the blue jays because they love having their food gift-wrapped, and i never tire of watching them try to fit more than one peanut into their bill at a time. i read good, hard books, and if i can't sleep, i might throw a few logs onto the fire and watch law and order reruns."
[james patterson, sam's letters to jennifer].

so i learnt from you.

i won't regret because you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be.

freedom.

she decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. and birds fluttered around her, writing "yes" in the sky.

[source].

matthew six:twenty-seven through thirty-four.

"a flower is relatively small. everyone has many associations with a flower - the idea of flower. you put out your hand to touch the flower, lean forward to smell it, maybe touch it with our lips almost without thinking, or give it to someone to please them. still, in a way, nobody sees a flower, really. it is so small. we haven't time and to see takes time like to have a friend takes time. if i could paint the flower exactly as i see it, no one would see what i see because i would paint it small like the flower is small.
so i said to myself, i'll paint what i see, what the flower is to me, but i'll paint it big and they will be surprised into taking time to look at it."

- georgia o'keefe

Knowing, You, Jesus,

knowing You,

there is no greater thing,

You're my all,

You're the best,

You're my joy, my righteousness,

and I love You, Lord.

[graham kendrick].

if there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, i submit that this notion has crept in from kant and the stoics and is no part of the christian faith. indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. we are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. we are far too easily pleased.

[c.s. lewis].

food for thought.

who plants the seeds in the garden of thought?
do our dreams understand our secrets?
is there a song that is my own alone?
are tears the end or the b e g i n n i n g ?

grey matter:
my friend peter called me today and when i said, "how are you?" he said, "i'm trying, actively, to renew my faith and my hope and my joy and my optimism. they've all gone missing, which is not okay with me." i love peter. i love that when his faith goes missing, he doesn't sit and feel sorry for himself. he goes turning over rocks and stones, looking for it. he prays and he calls friends and he says out loud what he's feeling. which, in itself, demonstrates that his faith is not as far away as he imagines. that's the feeling i hope this episode left you with...
that miracles are possible.
that a simple song can lift your spirits.
that speaking your truth,
or opening your checkbook,
or offering a simple apology,
or making an attempt to understand another's point of view
can turn your whole day or your whole year around.
that life doesn't always happen the way we hope or plan
but that that doesn't matter.
how we greet what life throws our way is all that matters.
"do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good." -ralph waldo emerson

there i was, just standing there waiting for something i have never seen, heard, or touched
it has been there all along, just waiting, learning, living
it could have been anywhere, under this, under that, but never straight on or right behind you
it is never that simple; the whole complexity of the matter is mind boggling
some say "whatever," or "you're crazy," then we need to think back to the basics of our very creation, oh the humanity of it all
but it doesn't have to be anything really, nothing but the mere thought is truly powerful
it seems we can't describe it's power
we can hold it in our grasp, but it can slip away in uncertainty
it's path and connection to the signs that have been laid out before us are very hard to fathom
loneliness only drives one to wonder about the necessity of it anyway
without it, how do we survive through any right or wrong consequence
oh to rediscover the serenity of it's glory
if we could just learn to draw like a child, to go back to our early instincts; it is these unclouded thoughts that push away any distraction taking us to the true reality of it all
then we would cherish it and hold it
once found it will not be forgotten nor taken away
this true gift is to be passed on to others as the essence of all the is good
these words will give us something to watch out for or to seek after
anything else maybe the strength of it all will give us the faith to ride the winds of one of the most powerful words of our existence

hope.

spend[yourself].

The differences between us were obvious. She was ten years younger than I, Indian and dressed in a vibrant fuchsia dress, a gold ring in her nose; she was certainly a far cry from my pasty-white, plaid-shirted self of that day and definitely of the Abby who once wore Doc Martens and her hair to her waist. But there I was, in the middle of a tribal village in God- Knows-Where, India, sharing a wordless conversation with a girl so much like the Me of only a few years ago.

Nearly one year ago (gosh, it feels like only yesterday) I traveled to southeast India with Faceless International, a non-profit dedicated to promoting awareness and combating human trafficking. This particular day was spent visiting a small impoverished village hours from the closest city. It was here that many women and youth were at high risk of falling into trafficking because of the extremely limited, opportunities for education and employment. We were there to establish relationships, spread cheer and harmony. To help people know they were loved and valued as human beings.

The Faceless Team was ushered through the village by a small man beating a drum like an Indian Pied-Piper, beckoning us through the dusty streets. Women surrounded me, smiled and giggled, whispered greetings, “Namaste,” with their hands pressed together at their chests. The entire village danced and sang together to the rhythms our friend Kris’ guitar and that one little drum. Amidst this beautiful chaos, a small girl hid behind a doorway, watching all that was in front of her. I turned in her direction and for a moment our eyes met. She shrank behind the door for a moment and then reappeared. She smiled. I smiled in return, only to frighten her away once again.

The party turned to ceremony. We listened to Vijay, our project counterpart from St. Joseph’s Welfare Association, as he addressed us and the villagers. I tried to pay attention to his words despite the assault on all of my senses- food cooking, children laughing, colorful saris sweeping across a backdrop of shabby huts and dirt.

And then, I felt a timid, unsure touch on my shoulder. I turned and there she was, the same girl from moments before standing next to me with a hand extended. She opened her palm and offered a small green bean. I, of course, accepted the gift and whispered, “thank you,” with a smile. She smiled back, but her eyes were riddled with uncertainty and fear. She shrank away with no words and it was then I thought, “you are me.”

Once upon a time, I never would have dreamed I would be on a volunteer trip in India. As a teen, I suffered from debilitating shyness. Protected but encouraged by my parents, it took years for me to overcome my social anxieties . . . and now I was here in India to encourage and support strangers who spoke a language I didn’t understand with twenty-four teammates I had never met before a week prior. I was a world away (figuratively and geographically) from the girl I had once been.

The evils of this world prey upon the innocents, people who only want to improve their circumstances with honest work and pay. Girls who are forced into trafficking never enter that world of their own free will; they’re lured by the lies and the promise of a better life. For this young girl I met that day, becoming a young woman was a dangerous and uncertain life. I felt like I understood her in so many ways and yet I knew (and still recognize) that I have little idea of the challenges that stood before her then and now.

I watched that little girl throughout the day. She slowly edged towards our group of Americans and children playing games and snapping pictures together. She even jumped into a few frames; she didn’t smile at first, but by the end of the day, she grinned and held my hand as we walked through the streets. Her shell melted away during those short hours and though I will probably never see her again, I would like to think that maybe she is still learning and trying to share her heart with others and remaining safe from predators who might break her innocence.

With a simple twist of fate, I could easily have grown up in that small Indian village and or into a Kolkota brothel. But I wasn’t. Though we seem so different and separated from our brothers and sisters who suffer lives of oppression, we are all connected. I share something with that young girl I met in India. I share something with the children who are brought up in the red light districts and the women forced into the sex trade. The threads of humanity bind us together and bridge the disparities that divide us. I hope when people give to Resc/you, they understand they’re investing in a life that is just like theirs, just as valuable, indeed distinctive, but so very much the same.
- Resc\You

life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.
so love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don't,
and believe that everything happends for a reason.
if you get a chance, take it.
if it changes your life, let it.
nobody said it would be easy, they just said
...it would be worth it.