nine o'clock pm.

holy moments are rare and special. but when they do happen, hold on to them. i had the priviledge of experiencing one tonight, and the joy to share it:

i was on the way home from a family vacation, and it had been quite a long day. i was in one of those moods where i really just wanted to spend time with the Lord, but was in a car with my family and didn't have the option of having quality alone time. and that fact, along with not feeling well from the car ride, had put me in a bad mood. so i put my ipod headphones in and started watching out the window. and it was an ordinary highway drive scene for a while, but when i finally began to really take in the beauty of my surroundings, i was overwhelmed. it was nine o'clock at night, and the sun had just set. but the pinks and oranges from the sun were still at the horizon. and above those colors was a light blue. and then a dark blue. and finally black above me. and high up in the sky was a single, bright star. and these lyrics were being sung around me:

i hear You say
My love is over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between
the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned "is this for real?"
the times you've broken
the times that you mend
the times you hate Me
and the times that you bend
well My love is over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between
these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and are tempted to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame
I'm there in the storm
my love, I will keep you by My power alone
I don't care where you've fallen
where you have been
I'll never forsake you
My love never ends
it never ends

i was utterly amazed by the Lord tonight. over and over again, i listened to theses lyrics and looked as the sky change colors, and as that single star remained. no matter how far we traveled, that star stayed. it was constant. it was faithful.

isn't this the same way we are with the Lord? we constantly change, but He never does. He is always there, even when we doubt, question, break, mend, hate, bend, heal, are heartbroken, fall, hurt, hunger, are tempted, are confused, in pain, are shameful, are in the storm, and stray.

H E i s t h e l i g h t .

worth LIVING for.

i'm apart of the fellowship of the unashamed.
i have Holy Spirit power.
i've stepped over the line, the decision has been made:
i'm a disciple of His.

i won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
my past redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.

i'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed vision, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dark goals.

i no longer need preeminence, position, promotion, applause, or popularity.
i don't have to be right, first, tops recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded.
i now live by faith, lean on his presence, walk by patience.
i am uplifted by prayer and labor empowered.

my face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my God reliable, my mission is clear.

i cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed.

i will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of my adversaries, negotiate at the table of my enemy, or ponder at the pool of popularity.

i won't give up, set up, let up
until i've stayed up, prayed up, preached up
for the cause of Christ.
I A M A D I S C I P L E O F J E S U S .


[ thanks ryan :) ]

five hundred thousand.

warning: some of the content of this video is quite harsh. it is disturbing, but the message it is conveying is disturbing itself. you'll finish it changed, but just know, parts are quite intense.


[youtube link to video]