matthew six:twenty-seven through thirty-four.

"a flower is relatively small. everyone has many associations with a flower - the idea of flower. you put out your hand to touch the flower, lean forward to smell it, maybe touch it with our lips almost without thinking, or give it to someone to please them. still, in a way, nobody sees a flower, really. it is so small. we haven't time and to see takes time like to have a friend takes time. if i could paint the flower exactly as i see it, no one would see what i see because i would paint it small like the flower is small.
so i said to myself, i'll paint what i see, what the flower is to me, but i'll paint it big and they will be surprised into taking time to look at it."

- georgia o'keefe

elements of college:

1. an awesome dorm room.

[my bed].

[my closet].

[my desk].

[my "headboard'].

[reminder when leaving].

[rug].

[love it].

2. quiet times.

"[pray] that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which i am an ambassador in chains, that i may declare it boldly as i ought to speak."

3. amazing friends.

[bri (my roommate). she's fantastic].

[megan. she's super cute].

[charysse. she's hilarious].

[martin. he's wonderful].

brianna, too. i just don't have a picture of her :)

4. fantastic professors. 

"i am not simply here to teach you about psychology, but also about life."

3. ccf.

[the ccf house].

5. skyping this kid.

[yeah, that'd be my goofy boyfriend].

4. being tired. all of the time.

[too tired at seven pm to even stand on the elevator. we are eighty years old].

------------

i love college.

i will miss my family.

i love you all.

hey, jon foreman....you're brilliant. thank you for singing to my soul.

hallelujah! i'm caving in. hallelujah! i'm in love again. hallelujah! i'm a wretched man. hallelujah! every breath is a second chance.

and it is always Yours. and i am always Yours.


i want to live and die for bigger things. i'm tired of fighting for just me.


the future is a question mark of kerosene and electric sparks. there's still a fire in you yet. yeah, there's still fire in you.


and heaven knows, heaven knows...i've tried to find a cure for the pain. oh, my Lord, to suffer like You do. it would be a lie to run away.


i dare you to move. i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor. i dare you to move like today never happened before.


but every seed dies before it grows. breathe it in and let it go. every breath you take is not yours to own. it's not yours to hold.


my heart beat once or twice and life flooded my veins. everything had changed. my lungs had found their voice and what was once routine was not the perfect joy. you've one life to lead.


there's a hole in my heart, but my hope is not in me at all.


she said he said live like no tomorrow. every moment that we borrow brings us closer to the God's who's not short of cash. hey bono, i'm glad you asked...life is still worth living.


God is my shepherd. i won't be wanting....i won't be wanting. He makes me rest in field of green by quiet strems. even while i'm walking through the valley of death and dying, i will not fear for You are with me. You're always with me.


i think i figure it out: we need to be together like the shore and the sea.


give love to the ones who can't love at ll. give hope to the ones who got no hope at all. stand up for the ones who can't stand at all.


let your love be strong, i don't care what goes down. let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud. fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your eyes. all of my world hanging on your love. 


we want more than this world's got to offer. we want more than the wars of our fathers. and everything inside screams for second life. we were meant to live for so much more.


i made a mess of me. i wanna reverse this tragedy. i made a mess of me. i wanna spend the rest of my life alive. the rest of my life alive.


dont' let go. don't give up hope. all is forgiven. you're breathing in, you're breathing in. we call in living in this needle and haystack life. i found miracles there in your eyes. it's no accident we're here tonight. we are one in a lifetime.


cause everything inside me looks like everything i hate. You are the hope i have for change. You are the only chance i'll take. when i'm on fire when You're near me. i'm on fire when You speak. and i'm on fire burning at these mysteries.


sing to me the song of the stars. of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again. when it feels like my dreams are so far, sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again.


over the river, i've set my hope. over the river, i'll find my hope in You.


what are you waiting for?


sing it out. take what is left of me, make it a melody. sing it out. i can't find the words to sing. you'll be my remedy. my song. i'll sing with what's left of me.


let it rise above, rise above. there is no song louder than love.


but when i look at the stars, i see someone else. when i look at the stars, i feel like myself.


this is your life. are you who you want to be?


life is not what i thought it was twenty-four hours ago. still i'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You. and i'm not who i thought i was twenty-four hours ago. still i'm singing Sprit take me up in arms with You.


if it doesn't break your heart, it isn't love. if it doesn't break your heart, it's not enough. it's when you're breaking down with your insides coming out...that's when you find out what your heart is made of.


all Your love is a symphony. all around me, running through me. all Your love is a melody. underneath me, running to me. all Your love is a song.


so why do i worry? why do i freak out? God knows what i need. You know what i need. Your love is strong.

all you have left.

Fear.

It destroys us.

It creates barriers,

A sense of desperation.

It arouse anguish within us,

An anguish that encompasses our entirety.

Fear has a way of causing all to be much darker.

What is fated appears dim.

With fear come nightmares.

And nightmares are unbearable.

They make "anything is possible" inconceivable.

Our fears keep us petrified.

They create doubt.

And confusion tied with fear is almost unstoppable.

But what about when you make the choice to fight?

Hope.

It sustains us.

It creates possibilities,

A level of attainment.

It inspires joy within us,

A joy that encompasses our entirety.

Hope makes everything seem just a litter brighter.

Our futures are illuminated.

With hopes come dreams.

And dreams are endless.

They make "everything is possible" true.

Our hopes keep us focused.

They create determination.

And valor joined with hope is unstoppable.

My Dear Heavenly Father,

You are good. You are holy. You are faithful. You are loving. You are beauty.

"YOU MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS OUT OF DUST. YOU MAKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS OUT OF US."

You taught me this last summer, last fall, and now again this summer. This is a song of your extreme faithfulness.

"YOU MAKE ME NEW. YOU ARE MAKING ME NEW."

You are in my heart. You satisfy my heart and desires. You are my heart. You are my everything. I will forever and always love You - who You are, Your works, Your children, Your everything.

Thank you.

love, meg.

to: you. from: Jesus.

have no fear for the future. be quiet, be still, and in that very stillness, your strength will come and be maintained.

a place after my own heart.

the annual family trip to visit my great-grandma in steelville...

man, do i love traditions.

[donuts in the car].

andrew: "man, these things are messy!"

[feeding the ducks popcorn at hoppe springs park].

[cold spring water].

[bella losing her shoe in the spring].

this same thing happened to christian last year.

[nana to the rescue].

just like last year. she's a superstar.

[my great-great-grandparents old house].

[the house my grandma grew up in].

[the train tracks i used to play on].

don't play on train tracks. it's dumb.

[our ice cream place].

[one of my favorite antique shops in the world].

[family].

Knowing, You, Jesus,

knowing You,

there is no greater thing,

You're my all,

You're the best,

You're my joy, my righteousness,

and I love You, Lord.

[graham kendrick].

current obsessions.

1. this bag.

2. this card.

3. this necklace.

4. this keychain.

5. this card.

6. this blog.

7. this pillow.

8. this necklack.

9. this vera print.

10. this cd.

[i had some problems with the links for all these. so if you want to know where i found anything, just leave a comment with your question!]

if there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, i submit that this notion has crept in from kant and the stoics and is no part of the christian faith. indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. we are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. we are far too easily pleased.

[c.s. lewis].

You are my purpose.

CAUSE YOU'RE ALL I WANT.

YOU'RE ALL I NEED.

YOU'RE EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING.

CAUSE YOU'RE ALL I WANT.
YOU'RE ALL I NEED.
YOU'RE EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.

CAUSE YOU'RE ALL I WANT.
YOU'RE ALL I NEED.
YOU'RE EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.

CAUSE YOU'RE ALL I WANT.
YOU'RE ALL I NEED.
YOU'RE EVERYTHING.
E V E R Y T H I N G !

the "Wal-Mart of sex trafficking."

[source.]

what i hope my life to look like.

[c2bu.org]

my best friend.

KATIE LEE HUFSTEDLER.

i love you.

things that remind me of you: yellow, grey's anatomy, dark chocolate, mat kearney, suubi beads, sunflowers, david crowder, dancing, toms, dave barnes, smiles.

i will miss you.

good luck :)

safest in Your hands.

i've been so afraid

afraid to close my eyes.

so much can slip away

before i say goodbye.

but if there's no other way,

i'm done asking why.

i'm on my knees,

begging You to turn to me.

i'm on my knees,

Father will you run to me?

one tear in the driving rain.

one voice in a sea of pain.

could the maker of the stars

hear the sound of my breaking heart?

one life,

that's all i am.

right now i can barely stand.

if You're everything You say You are

would You come close and hold my heart?

so any questions without answers.

Your promises remain.

i can't see but i'll take my chances

to hear You call my name.

[hold my heart. tenth avenue north.]

tomorrow is august second.

maybe it doesn't really feel like an ending because it's not an ending.

maybe it's a beginning.

the beginning of

heartbreak, pain, hardship, and challenges.

but i don't know about you...

but i can't wait.

i can't wait to feel miserable.

because feeling miserable means

i care.

we'll grow.

it matters.

so yes,

i can't wait to feel miserable.

because in that misery there is joy.

an insurmountable amount of joy.

so look towards the future.

because there is so much hope there.

i know that's where i'm looking...